Men Vs Women: Coping With Rejection

Sometimes I feel envious of how the male gender has stood by each other through thick and thin. I don’t know if it’s a result of the evolutionary process or just how men were coded to be, but they have each other’s back in almost every social situation.

Notice how they are together during a party, when they’re checking out women, when they’re cheating on their girls, when they’re drinking, when in love, when they’re rejected, when they don’t have female attention. When they’re jailed. All the friggin’ time. They might have only women, booze and sports to talk about, but they tend to have definitely formed a bond amongst themselves.

Particularly commendable is how they deal with rejection. The movies have been written and promoted in a way that makes men getting rejected by women, somehow funny. What’s so cool about it is that humor is known to help you get out of a situation better and smoother. It’s the most common thing ever, ain’t it? Men getting rejected and they take it in their stride to up their game and approach the girl again till she starts admiring him, for his diligence, if not anything else.

Now look at the social impact of a woman getting rejected. In the movies, 98% of female rejection would be played out as the end-of-life moment with a mind numbing emotional track. Like her life depended on the guy’s reciprocation of love. Like she has no self worth in herself, other than the love interest’s validation. It hurts, alright. We all know that. Unrequited love hurts. Getting cheated on terribly affects one’s self worth. But somehow, women just can’t get over it and channelize humor out of rejection, like men can.

Whenever a woman is rejected, she’ll fall into the downward spiral of self-loathing. Are my tits not large enough? Isn’t my arse shapely enough? Must be for the lack of thigh gap. Maybe for the lack of sex. Women don’t cheer other women to ‘keep at it’ when she gets rejected. But we do get rejected all the time. Only, we don’t laugh it out. We question ourselves.

Every woman has gotten rejected in some way or the other. It could be before a relationship or being left for somebody ‘better’ , after a relationship. No, matter how ‘in demand’ and poised we pretend to be on social media, let’s admit it that we don’t always get what we want. Or the man who we want. Sure, we get a lot of unnecessary untoward attention from men we don’t care about. But not necessarily the one who we want attention from.

But we don’t have an equivalent of a ‘bro-code’ or ‘wing-man’ to ace the rejection we face. Not only are women constantly competing against other women (for some unfair evolutionary reason), but also look down on someone when she tries to move on. More often than not, we slut-shame each other for quickly moving on from a former heartbreak or look down upon somebody by the virtue of her getting rejected. You’d hear occasional gossip and a lot of ‘I told you so’ or ‘She deserved it’. But have you seen men indulge in rejection this bitterly? They cheer each other when someone attempts to move on. They don’t shame anybody for having fun!

Last time I got rejected (which by the way happens more often than I would like to admit), I was in tears, reading up ‘let true love go’ quotes on Instagram. Whereas, the men I’ve rejected, usually go ahead and date hotter women after me. How is this paradoxical behavior pattern playing out?

Somehow a woman getting rejected is so less talked about, and women’s market demand is so hyped, that we’re ashamed to even admit that we get rejected as well. Being in denial about rejection makes it worse for us to deal with. It’s okay to get rejected, no? Not every man would like me for who I am. I might not even come across as attractive to more than half a million population. But hell, I need to talk about it without being looked down upon. Without questioning my ‘womanhood’ and self worth. I want to be upset for a night, drink it up and laugh about it and date hotter men, for all I care. But first, let’s see the humor in rejection like men have managed to see. That kind of sportsmanship is something we definitely gotta learn from men!

15 Replies to “Men Vs Women: Coping With Rejection”

  1. It’s not the observation or the realization that is new, it’s the way you put it. Your writing is like a waterfall in the middle of a glacier: crisp, clear, and cold. It’s stuntingly beautiful.

  2. You have expressed it so well. Loved the piece..

    The only point I kind of disagree that men take break ups in their stride very easily. I know a couple of friends who took years to get over their exes after being dumped for no palpable reason.

    1. Yeah, well, I’m not saying breakups are easy for anybody. But there’s a certain kind of support system that men have that women don’t. Especially because ‘rejection’ is considered a reflection of her character itself. With men, rejection is just part of the dating deal.

  3. This is so well expressed. I loved the part where you ask to look for humour in rejection! Keep up the good work my friend. This was really a good read. 🙂

  4. It is cool….it is the realization which suffocate in our/my heart.. It is just a barrier which we love to wear or “have” to wear to be in the journey of survival f fittest.. Well done..Damsel.??❤️?

  5. I kinda disagree…women very ‘bro’like with eachother when it comes to rejection and coping with it……I think you haven’t met the right kind of female friends yet. I hope you do!

  6. Read your thought on the men coping with denial vs women coping with denial….. It was good and most of things were true!! Well I would love to follow your blog/website but a small and humble request if you don’t mind…. If it would be a little short… Sorry…. But it was awesome!! Ps. You look gr8 in those pics!

  7. Hey more so than the part of coping and moving on, id say we can backtrack a bit. The conditioning of men is really really terrible. Trust me when I say. We are deeply trained schooled and programmed to not feel too much and not connect. While in reality I believe the capacity of men to feel and connect is yuuuge. For most men, when they connect, it opens up something amazing in them. But then things go to shit, they also have a socially approved reference of being unfeeling bastards to fall back on and rebound with less scars.

    Women, OTOH, in my experience they are biologically more in tune with their feelings, less complex, and craving more for connections. No matter the social front they have to put up. They would put up with pathetic hook ups, bad sex and what not just to feel that connection. Hence rejections always hurt more , moving on is harder and jealousy is heightened towards those who find genuine connections. The last factor also causes weaker support systems in times of breakdown.

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